If I ever knew you
by Novacaine soul
Summary: AU /They could have lived a happy life. But the war tears you apart, ripping your heart off until you are nothing but a shadow of what you once were. OR Everyone loves stories about impossible loves until they live one and all they get is death and sorrow, but not the romance they expected./ If you like unusual pairings, this is your story.


**I just like weird pairings, okay. And since I'm getting tired of seeing Percy paired up with literally everyone, I decided to give Annabeth a new love.**

**And I also like sad stories.**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I wish I owned something, yadda, yadda, yadda.**

**Also, I wanted to creat a ship. Enjoy my very own pairing.**

* * *

><p>"Pst," someone whispered in her ear. "Annabeth, wake up."<p>

Annabeth opened her eyes lazily, groaning. What time was it? It was still too early to leave the soft cloud her dreams were.

She opened her eyes only to find a smirking Ethan Nakamura inches away from her face, his breath hot against her nose. Instead of screaming and trying to fight, like any camper would do, she yawned.

"What are you doing, Ethan? I thought you were in New York."

"Got a 'day off' and though I could spend it with my favorite person."

She huffed and closed her eyes again. "What if I want to sleep?"

"What if I make you pancakes?"

"What if I kick you out of my house? All I have to do is yell and my father will come to the rescue."

"You do realize they aren't on vacation yet, right? The are at work."

Annabeth groaned again. Today was her last day of school, not vacations yet, and her parents probably left hours before.

"So, did you say something about pancakes?" she asked, cracking one eye open.

She loved pancakes more than she loved talking about the Hoover dam —and that was quite a lot—, but every time she tried to make them, they'd end up burnt.

Ethan smiled and kissed her forehead enthusiastically. "Working on it, darling."

The term of endearing made her laugh. "Hurry up, you dork, I still have to go to school."

"Your wish is my command, milady."

Annabeth shook her head. He could be just so corny sometimes.

"I said hurry up!" she complained. "I'm gonna take a shower."

"And you don't invite me to that?"

She kicked his side lightly. "Just for that, you're making double for me."

"Okay, okay. Jeez. Are daughters of Athena always this needy?"

She stood up and kissed the tip of his nose. "I don't know, and you won't either. Wait for me downstairs."

"But don't take too long or I'll have to burn the pancakes on purpose!"

"Just go away!"

He laughed all the way to the kitchen, and maybe the sound of his giggles brought a smile to Annabeth's lips as the water fell over her head.

* * *

><p>Annabeth ran downstairs, her still wet hair hitting her back with every step she took.<p>

"Hmm," she hummed as she sniffled lightly. "That smells good."

"Thanks," Ethan answered without turning back. "Do you have chocolate syrup?"

"Second cabinet on the left, third shelf, right next to the sugar," she replied without thinking.

She was completely methodical, and she loved it. And knowing how messy Ethan was, she was sure he appreciated it too.

"Well, don't just stand there, come here and eat."

She frowned at him playfully. "Since when do you give the orders here? I'm older than you."

"Barely. Just nine months. That's not even a complete year," he announced. "Besides, I think you'll like this."

Annabeth took a bite of the closer pancake and the sweet taste almost made her devour the rest of it.

"I hate you."

He smirked cockily. "I love you too, Chase."

"Obviously." He smiled and leaned in.

And, okay, maybe her legs felt a little like Jell-O. But there was no way she was telling him that.

"Seriously, you don't know how much I love you." He kissed her cheek. "But you know, I can't say that, because I'm the bad guy and bad guys don't go around saying that love wonderful girls."

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "You're so cheesy."

"But you love me."

"Duh." She smiled. "And I also love your pancakes."

Ethan laughed and Annabeth's heart melted a little with the sound. "As much as I love it when you appreciate my cooking, you are going to be late for school if you don't leave right now."

Annabeth hummed and put her arms around his neck. "Maybe I decided I'm not going."

"Is the great Annabeth Chase going to ditch school?" he mocked.

"Well, if my favorite person has a 'day off' and decides to spend it with his favorite person, then who am I to deny him that?"

"Very true." He sneaked his arms around her waist. "So very true."

"So, fancy doing anything with me?" she asked as she rested her forehead against him.

"Everything," Ethan replied immediately. "I want to do everything with you."

She smiled inwardly. His breath was once again against her nose and she felt powerful, invincible, a goddess.

The stars at night don't shine as bright as she did in that moment.

* * *

><p>"So…" he started, but didn't continue. The word hung between them like a fallen leave that couldn't find its way to the ground.<p>

"So," she continued, because she could read his mind better than any book. "Tomorrow."

"Yeah. Tomorrow."

Snuggled up in his arms, she felt like she was about to leave home to go to her dream college, at the other side of the country. She was, in a way, but worse. Infinitely worse.

"The war is about to start," he spoke up.

"I know." It was unavoidable, really. She knew the war would come since the day Percy set a foot in camp. "I know."

"Why don't you come with me?" Ethan pleaded, his eyes begging her. "Please? I don't want you to get hurt. I just want you to be safe."

She gave him a sad smile because, honestly, only this boy could make her smile every day, every hour.

"I can't. It's my home."

"But what about me? You are my home!"

And maybe Annabeth wanted to cry at how desperate he sounded, and at how devastated she felt.

"I love you," she said, and they both knew she couldn't lie when they were together. "I love you, and I would do anything to be with you. I don't care about what I may lose if that means we can be together." She took his face in her hands. "But I've grown up there, and that's the only place I've ever called home. Why don't _you_ come with _me_? We could fight together for freedom. We could fight for us."

"No, Annabeth." He gripped her wrists and shook his head. "Camp may be your home, but the only home I've ever known was a tiny apartment in Connecticut, and I don't want to go back there." He looked down at his hands, and Annabeth thought she saw tears in his eyes. "My mom. She's joined Kronos and I— She's the only family I've left. I have to make her proud."

Annabeth nodded because she knew that the life of a half-blood was made of two things, and two things only: running away from monsters and trying to please your godly parent. She knew.

So she just put her arms around him and kissed him like there was no tomorrow, knowing that this was the first time she had kissed him in months and that it'd probably be the last.

And, right next to the Golden Gate, under the sunlight, they shared tear-flavored kisses and unspoken memories of better days.

* * *

><p>She ran all the way to New York, running away from empousai and Furies and only Athena knows what else.<p>

She found Percy with a redhead and, well, things got ever uglier than that time when he brought Tyson. Okay, so she was mad. Really mad. Why did he get to befriend an eccentric mortal but she couldn't be with the guy she loved more than anything? Oh, that's right. They were on opposite sides of a war.

Wasn't his mother the goddess of justice? How was this even near fair?

(She spent the nights crying about everything and nothing at the same time.)

And then they were in the labyrinth and she was alone with Percy and he was about to die and she kissed him because, well, she needed him to come back and save her home.

And then he was gone.

The night she went back to camp, she IMed Ethan and told him everything and cried —she never cries— and she just wanted to save her home, for fuck's sake.

"Annabeth," he called. "Really, it's okay. I can't expect you not to kiss him. I mean, he's going to be a hero and he's good-looking and you two are on the same side. I can't really blame you."

"But I don't like him!" she shouted. "I just want him to save Olympus so everything will be back to normal and we can be together!"

"Annie." His harsh tone made him look directly at him. "I won't live through this."

The air froze in her lungs and she wondered if her heart had stopped beating.

"What?" It was merely a whisper, but it scratched her throat until she was completely breathless.

Ethan looked down, somewhat ashamed.

"Kronos is going to kill Luke after he has used him. If he's getting rid of him, what would he do to me? Tell me, Annabeth, what do you think he'll do?"

The cold had taken over her bones, making her unable to move.

"Annie?"

It was probably snowing inside her soul.

"Annabeth."

"_And lose a love to something worse than death_," she muttered to herself. "It's you. I'm going to lose you."

"I'm sorry."

"Where the fuck is the justice in this? How is fair that you're helping your mother and she doesn't do her famous justice on you? Why are you risking your life while she doesn't even help you? What kind of goddess of justice— no, what kind of mother is she?!"

"You think I don't know that?" he snapped, startling her. "You think it doesn't kill me how I'm to die just to fight for her and she doesn't help me to be with the girl I love?! I'm going to die just to make her proud! I'm giving up on living happily with you just because I want her to notice me!" He put his head between his hands and, if his shaking shoulders meant anything, he was crying. "I'm going to die, I'm going to die and leave you alone, I'm going to die, I'm going to die…"

Annabeth wasn't sure she was breathing anymore. The realisation of what was unavoidably going to happen hit her like a truck. He wasn't coming back.

Ethan wasn't coming back.

"I'm sorry." Just like he did mere seconds before, she apologized, her voice broken and her eyes lost.

And they stood there for hours, Ethan crying and muttering about his death, and Annabeth looking at the nothingness of the universe with unfocused eyes until the connection broke.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

><p>"Annie?" Silena entered in her room after what felt like a lifetime. "Are you okay?"<p>

She sighed and stood up, the sun light hitting her eyes. "Yeah. Just tired."

"Uh, are you sure?"

"Completely. C'mon, let's go have breakfast." She stretched until her spine popped and walked towards the door, but Silena wasn't following her. "You coming?"

"I— sure." Annabeth nodded curtly and took two steps towards the door before Silena's voice broke the air. "I heard you talking to Ethan last night!" she blurted out.

Annabeth's hand froze when it was millimetres away from the doorknob.

"You must have misheard me," she replied coldly. "I have no relation with that traitor."

She wondered if her heart broke a little bit more that it already had.

"Please, Annie, don't lie to me. I know I heard right."

She swallowed. "So what if I did? Are you going to tell the others?"

Silena looked hurt. "What? No! You are my friend, I'd never do that to you!"

Annabeth ran a hand over her hair, making a mess of her braid. "I know, I know. I'm sorry, it's just that—"

"That you love him so much to the point you'll literally do anything to keep him safe?"

Annabeth smiled sadly. "Exactly that."

"Well…" Silena sat on her bed. "I think I can help you, you know."

"What? How?"

The daughter of Aphrodite blushed harder than ever and chewed on her lower lip.

"Hum, it's just a stupid idea, nothing much. Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It's not ever worth it, it wouldn't—"

_"__Silena."_

"I'm a spy." Before Annabeth could react, she buried her face in her hands. "I know, okay? I know and I'm sorry, but I'm doing this for Charles. Luke told me that if I didn't do it, Charlie would die. And I don't want that!" It was… strange, seeing Silena so defeated. Her next words were barely a whisper. "I'm a traitor."

Annabeth knew that Luke had changed through these years, but she didn't know he had changed this much. "Luke? No, he would never do something like this. He— he was my friend."

"I know, he was my friend too. But—" The tears didn't allow her to continue.

Annabeth put her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Hey, hey. It's okay. I won't say a thing. And Charles won't die, okay? I'll make sure of that. We traitors have to help each other, since no one else will. Am I right?" she tried to joke.

Silena smiled. "Thanks, Annie."

"No problem. After all, people do crazy things for love."

* * *

><p>When they saw each other in the labyrinth, he was wearing a patch. She learned that he had lost his eye, and her heart clenched.<p>

Percy was facing a giant or something —she wasn't really paying attention— and Rachel was screaming at her side.

But the only thing she could care about was the sad look in Ethan's remaining eye.

(And when they fought Luke with Daedalus, she felt like everything had ended.)

* * *

><p>Ethan was carrying a knife and he was about to stab Percy.<p>

She couldn't let him do it. The Camp…

With a scream, she took the knife for him, because he was a hero, and she had betrayed the gods. Because the world could go on without a simple daughter of Athena, but not without the savior of Olympus. Because he was her friend. Because Ethan wasn't coming back anyway, so her death would be just one more consequence of the side effect of a war. Because she was a traitor, and traitor always died in the end.

The look on Ethan's eye hurt most than any poisoned blade.

Seeing each other for the first time in a year (and let's not talk about the last time they talked) and she blocked an attack that could make him stand out in front of his mother's eyes?

_This is how you prove your love?_ his eyes seemed to say.

Annabeth wasn't good at proving things.

"I love you," she mouthed and the colors started dancing in front of her eyes.

Because they were both going down, their fate decided, and not even the gods could stop that.

(Or maybe they were writing together their tragedy on the stars.)

* * *

><p>There was a moment when Luke stabbed himself and they'd suddenly won. She knew it all along.<p>

Heroes always win.

(But Ethan, her biggest hero, had suffered another destiny.)

Then everything was okay again, and the gods praised them and— did they just offer godhood to Percy?

_He's going to say no_, her intuition alerted, and she panicked because she knew how he felt about her —it was hard not to, the kid was as discreet as a pink Pegasus— and he would say no to it just for her _but she loved Ethan and she was a traitor—_

She ran away.

The screams followed her as she took the elevator and went down, as she cried over Ethan and over her life in general, and as she stormed out of the Empire State Building.

Heroes always win. Traitors always die.

Just look how Silena ended —and she was the good one—.

* * *

><p>There was a sad note to her life, she noticed. Always losing people, always disappointing people, always killing people.<p>

She loved Ethan.

_But I have to make Athena proud._

She understood Ethan.

_I don't know what to do, Annabeth. I love you, but I want my mother to notice me._

Her arm hurt.

_Stab._

Colors dancing behind her eyelids.

_After all, people do crazy things for love._

Missing the loved ones.

_We traitors have to help each other, since no one else will._

Drowning in suffocating darkness until she couldn't breathe anymore.

_I'm sorry._


End file.
